i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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