I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
i've created a new STD.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Randomize
