No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
