I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Randomize