i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
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