I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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