I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
