Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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