Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
