And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
