Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
