no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
