who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize