Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
