You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
