I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
you had me at cake vodka
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosť, bitch!
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken