is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
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wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
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She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.