honey bunches of taint.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
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He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
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My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles