The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
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I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
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I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.