She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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