he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Sorry my hands just texted you
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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