Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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