yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
