this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Dicks are not precious.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Randomize
