Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
