Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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