is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize