i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
