i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
