in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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