Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
