Buhtt sex?
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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