Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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