dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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