the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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