if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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