i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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