I just threw up on my dentist
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
