I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
