Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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