How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
