u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
