All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
