I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
