no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
