you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does