OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
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I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
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