thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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