All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
zippers are such a cool invention
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
