So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
how drunk are you?
Several
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
