so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
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My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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