I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
