so explain again why im purple
no
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
