It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
