I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Randomize
