ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
