i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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