Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Randomize
