Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
