i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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