I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
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