She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
